Tuesday, April 26, 2005


In Which I Wish I was In Barbados...

Everything that could go wrong went wrong today. Let us thumb through the catalog of woes:

--I have become a prisoner of my reputation for turning stories around quickly, which explains why I was asked to write a story from scratch this morning to ship to the printer this afternoon. This has happened three times now. If I want it to stop, I will have to fail the next time I'm asked. But if I fail...well, talk about the horns of a dilemma.

--I spent so much time working on this story, I didn't have time to finish prep work on my next round of story proposals. Story proposal meeting is tomorrow, just after lunch.

--Just as I was leaving for home, one of my editors quit. I will spend all of tomorrow morning enmeshed in human-resources nightmare stuff. Which means I won't have time to finish prepping for my pitch meeting.

--And I never got to write the next installment of my trash collector story.

And all I could think was, I wish I was in Barbados.

Which is where I was 11 years ago today. Doing this, you may recall:


And you know who took the picture, don't you?

You know that if I showed you who took the picture, I would be delivering this day into perfect damnation, because hell hath no fury like a spouse whose husband posts a certain picture of his wife, even though said husband thinks it's a flattering photo. Even though said husband, when he's old and withered and in possession of the Pencil Whose Lead Is Done Gone, and all rational thought had fled and he can't distinguish between a pair of socks and his own children, STILL that husband will hold a memory of his lovely wife, and that memory will look pretty much like...the picture that I'll get in trouble for posting.

Like, a lot of trouble.

So, never mind. Let's just say it's been a bad day and leave it at that.

All things considered, I'd rather be in Barbados.

From Somewh

Aw, what the hell...

[This is the place on the blog where, for years, people would come looking for a picture of my wife in a bikini. I'm not saying they found it here. I'm just saying that YOU won't find it here. Sorry if that sounds like a terrible tease, but hey, you're strong. You'll get over it.]

From Somewhere on the Sleeper Sofa

Oh, man. I've had THOSE days. It will all seem trite in a week or two. Oh, and your wife is hot. Did I cross a line?
I had a day exactly like that yesterday, anything and everything that could go wrong did. It was horrible. And I agree with Shane, "Ditto!"
See - there is such a thing as being too good at your job!

"Pencil Whose Lead Is Done Gone" Funniest way I have ever heard it put.

I'm secure enough in myself to agree with Shane. Your wife is hot. Tropicana Girl hot. And she thinks that's a bad picture?

MM - You're giving all the boys 'wife envy'.
Oh my God. You did it. The Photo has been posted. I believe the Apocalypse may now be upon us.

That IS, by the way, an extremely flattering picture. I mean, I've never seen your wife in real life, so I guess I can't really say whether it does her justice. But honestly, if that pic does NOT do her justice, then she must be extraordinarily just indeed.

That didn't make any sense. Suffice it to say your wife has nothing to be ashamed of as far as I can tell.
The guys will say, "hubba hubba..." but I keep thinking, "I believe I can vaguely remember when I could fit into a bathing suit like that".

So, do we get to see the picture of you, after she's squashed you like a bug?!
She is beutiful.. Tell her there is nothing wrong with that pic!!!

And boy oh boy I wish I was away from work also... Glad it is hump day!!
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Yowzers! You are a lucky man.
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