Friday, July 29, 2005

 

In Which I Pop In For A Nightcap...

Heavens, what a day! So many odd and interesting things abounding, it's a wonder I don't just keel over.

Can I tell you about these things? Er...no. Mostly it would be pretty boring, a bit like watching, say, two friends playing Battleship. It just ain't the same unless you're playing.

Oh wait, I can tell you one thing:

Thanks, first, to everyone for making the previous entry a record-breaker in terms of comments here at the Masthead.

(At this juncture can I say how interesting it is that the all-time most popular blog entry AND the most frequently viewed image among all my flickr images have NOTHING to do with me? I might as well change the name of this blog to "Fingerpaints and Bikinis.")

(Hey, that's not half-bad...)

As a result of your enthusiastic comments--and my foolhardy decision to read them all aloud--I have been corraled into launching an art blog. I'm told it will ALL happen this weekend. To emphasize the point, there is a box--like, a SERIOUS box--of drawings and paintings and homemade picture books following me around the house. It was sitting here by the computer yesterday. This morning, when I got up, I put my foot directly into it, since it had been shoved up the stairs, step by heavy step, and placed next to my slumbering form, so I wouldn't miss it. At lunch, I got a voicemail reminding me to set aside my weekend for putting up the art blog (I didn't even know he could dial me at work). And when I intimated that we might not get as far on it as he thinks we will, you'd have thought I'd set fire to the box. Oh, the wailing. Oh, the gnashing of teeth. Oh, the direct-dialing to Grandma!! I swear, where does this kid get his overdeveloped sense of drama?

(comments are closed to my brother)

So, we'll at least get started on it, but I have to say that I will also be busy dealing with a little situation.

Well, it's not a little situation. It's actually kind of a big deal, having to do with a certain...uh...condition I have. It's nothing fatal. It's one of these chronic problems. I've actually got two strikes against me because I inherited a genetic weakness from both my mom and dad. I'm kind of embarrassed...

Aw shit. This is tough.

Okay, here it is: It appears I've acquired Chronic Regenerative Acquisitional Proclivity.

Or C.R.A.P., as it is sometimes known.

In layman's terms: I'm an incurable pack-rat.

My family is genetically predisposed to acquire C.R.A.P.

Which isn't so bad. I mean, it's not fatal, like I said.

The problem is that Her Lovely Self has delivered an ultimatum: C.R.A.P. virus or not, I MUST begin to clean out the basement this weekend.

I mean it's not that bad.

wreck 005

Not really.

wreckfin

God, this is going to kill me.

I just know it.

(comments are STILL closed to my brother)

Yours,
From Somewhere on the Masthead


Comments:
Man, do you have a lot of stuff. My love of life forced me to clean my CRAP out a few years back, and I can safely said, I was able to walk again 2 months after the incident.

Good luck.

find a good chriropractor.
 
There's got to be an anthopomorphic video game character in there somewhere.

Just hang a sign out and be done.

Or move.
 
What a relief it is to find out you aren't the only one with a condition. I too, have C.R.A.P., though I did not realize they finally got around to naming it. (I guess with all the other conditions they put a name too, such as "middle child syndrome"-- which I realized I also had, but far too late to benefit from therapy--I should have known they would get around to this one.) It should be noted, it can skip a generation. It was passed down to me from my maternal grandmother, my mother some how immune. Take comfort in the fact that others share your condition, and admire your bravery for coming forward and admitting your problem. Oh, and if you have any electronic items missing a battery cover, check with me, I just might have it. ;)
 
Yeah for the art blog! You'll be looking for a manager or agent for this kid before you know it!

Laughed out loud about the box following you around - he's not too excited is he?

At last! I have the name for the familiar symptoms you described!
Good luck man, you have my sympathies.
 
HEY! Is that MY Johnny West guy?!?

Your
Brother
 
Maybe we should start an organization for those of us who suffer from C.R.A. P. Although, since we moved at the beginning of this year most of my C.R.A.P. ended up on the curbside of our old house. That was a painful leave taking.

Too cute about your sons enthusiasm for the new Art blog. Can't wait to see it! You're going to be busy this weekend for sure!
 
I had a feeling that was going to happen. Looking forward to the art blog!

Oh man I can tell I've got similar case of c.r.a.p. when I'm thinking, "He thinks that's bad? Ha! That's nothing!"

It helps if you can store your Johnny West etc. in your parents' attic or garage. Which reminds me, I never did get that deluxe Johnny West ranch house that I wanted so bad. Jamie and Janice were so disappointed.
 
You had me smiling all the way down the page till I got to the CRAP part-then it was cold sweat. The sheer volume of your treasures... Do you have to get rid of them or just organize? You have some good stuff.

I suffer terribly with CRAP but I do have some consulation- the hubby is just as big a CRAPper as I am.

We keep saying one day we are going to have a yard sale and retire. Yeah right. The thought of someone slobbering all over my old albums (shiver) well, no.

Gosh, MM- you got me in a tizzy over this one- God love you man, good luck and be careful with that back.
 
I think we all have CRAP... I am proud to admit that I do and I dont' give a damn....

Have fun cleaning my friend!!
 
There are definitely some unopened action figures in that picture!

I can relate. I have close to 100 unopened Star Wars and Ninja Turtle actions figures in my room with no place to go.

On top of that, I still never found #38 of my Star Wars Collection. I don't think they released him.

Mother Fuckers!
 
Oh, you have no idea have serious the symptons of C.R.A.P. can become, especially after moving five times in four years and a vehement refusal to part with any of the souveniers (read: worthless crap) acquired from various cities. Two boxes of approximately five thousand mardi gras beads? Got em. Mini replica of Golden Gate Bridge? check. Collection of lighthouses from Chesapeake Bay complete with fog horn noises? Yup. Shot glasses and mugs and games including a mini slot machine from Biloxi? yes to all. All this along with several boxes of sentimental childhood stuff that accompanied us for every move and somehow seemed to grow with each one. Yes, it's catching, and I'm afraid they're still working on a cure.
 
I've noticed that every time you're peeved at HLS you post another link to her bikini picture.

Are you aware of this? Is she?
 
sell it all and finance your budding artiste's first gallery showing

(this coming from the girl who conveniently left all he C.R.A.P. symptoms in her parents' attic and then had the nerve to get mad when they told her that they had sold most of it at the mother of all garage sales and didn't share the proceeds =))
 
I call dibs on the Millennium Falcon - I saw it hiding up there on the shelf. My parents never got me any of the ships or space stations from Star Wars, only the figures - that was really annoying, though quie good for the imagination. I made them fly around in shoes and used the cracks and crevices in the wood under our antique dining room table for space stations...

Seriously though, if you ever want to get rid of the Falcon, keep me in mind...
 
Very impressive basement, Magazine Man. And yet, that basement could almost be a zen monastery were it lined up next to The Thing Beneath Our Living Room.

And there's no one in our household who's making us make it be any different.



Help us.
 
Damn! Dusty beat me to the punch on the Falcon. I have wanted one for soooo long. That looks like an original box, too, not one of those imitation, let's-re-release-all-the-toys-from-the-first-trilogy-but-make-sure-the-toys-are-inferior-so-we-can-make-more-money-by-spending-less-and-charging-more things they put out this year. (Although, I must admit, the Darth Vader voice changer is completely awesome! And it doesn't count in the above category because I don't think they made those in '77.)

Anyway, if Dusty changes his mind, I'll gladly take the Falcon off your hands! :)
 
Oops! I just took a look at Dusty's profile. I should have said, "If Dusty changes HER mind, I'll take the Falcon." I knew I was probably getting it wrong as I typed it, too. Sorry, Dusty!
 
Wow! All these years my mother suffered from C.R.A.P. and I never knew. I'm gonna go tell my Dad now.
Looking forward to the art show.
 
is there a help group that people like us can go to?
 
No problem on the case of the mistaken gender, smithee... happens all the time :)
 
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