Sunday, August 28, 2005

 

In Which I Don't Even Have the Energy to Write A Good Title...

Oh, I had such writing plans for you this weekend. I was going to launch the first annual Giveaway of Crap. I was going to regale you with my adventures in obedience training with the dog. I was going to write about the new series of nature documentaries Thomas is making me film in the back yard. Big plans, I tell you.

And then Her Lovely Self woke up with strep on Saturday morning. She refused to admit it until Sunday morning but honestly, who does she think she's kidding? Here's a woman who is normally up at dawn tending to her garden on the weekends. That's BEFORE she's gotten the kids breakfast but AFTER she's already written a letter to her grandmother and cleaned all the bathrooms and spent some time online crafting a query for the next freelance piece she wants to do. She's like my personal little Army representative. She really does do more before 9 AM than I do all day.

Oh hell, who am I kidding? Make that all month.

Instead of her usual routine of embarrassing productivity, she spent this whole Saturday sleeping in a beanbag, interrupting her slumber only long enough to croak at me in a voice so astonishingly like Brenda Vaccaro, I thought she was going to ask for Playtex tampons (helpful link in case I am dating myself, which I probably am). In the event, all HLS asked for was tea. She doesn't even like tea. Except when she's sick, which she kept insisting she wasn't. I mean really! Did she think I wasn't going to put it all together?

By Sunday it was a moot point, as she was flat in bed with a 101 fever and a throat that looked like one of the smaller gates to Hell.

So I got to see to the kids' every needs. For the whole weekend.

Now it's Sunday night and I'm so tired that I just this moment yawned extravagantly enough to make the dog yawn. I'm so tired I didn't even notice that my ass fell off earlier today. Twice I tripped over it. Both times, I'm like, What is that on the floor?

Oh yeah, it's my ass. It fell off.

It's not that the weekend was without its bright points. And it's not like I wasn't able to muster the necessary--more than necessary--enthusiasm for those bright points when they came. It's just that it took everything I had. By the time I got everyone trundled off to bed, I felt like it was past my bedtime too. About 18 hours past.

Still, as I've remarked before, this is good for me, these brief interludes of being driven to the point of my ass falling off. It serves to remind me who really has the hard goddamn job in this family. I do tell her this, in case you're wondering. But now I'm telling you too.

Single parents, how DO you do it? The only thing keeping me moving is the knowledge that Her Lovely Self will bounce back in 24-48 hours and I can go back to my carefree life of sleeping in til 7 and wondering why some people are too tired at the end of the day to laugh at my jokes. How do you manage, you solo moms and dads?

And please do not read sympathy or pity into my question. Read awe. Read wonder. You each deserve your own action figure and trading card.

That's all I wanted to say. Hell, that's all I can manage to say right now.

I'm so wiped. In the space of 48 hours, I'm completely spent for the rest of the week.

Now I know what it feels like to be every paycheck I earned in my 20s.

Yours,
From Somewhere on the Masthead


Comments:
You're a great man, MM. :) I'm proud of you.
 
I'm looking forward to the "give away of crap" post.

Get some sleep.
 
wait till sharfa read this ... :) ... she is so going to hug you ... :P
 
Hugs to HLS, I hope she is feeling better. Strep sucks royally. I've gotten every year for the last 3 so I can sympathize. Awsome husband you are for singing her praises. She's a lucky woman.
 
At least you helped!!!
Hope HLS gets better soon... like Michelle I get strep every year and it sucks...

keep smiling!!!!
 
It's good for the daddies to do it all once in a while--and not just for the daddies. The kiddos love it, too.


HLS sounds like a goddess-and-a-half. Someday, I hope I can be as productive as she is. I keep using all the ass-dropping exhaustion of keeping up with the kids as my reasons for not doing more (with writing, with art, with web hacking). I've told myself I'm at capacity. Clearly, more can be done.

Are there more than various versions of 'the look' available for download from HLS.com? ;)
 
Kudos to you, man. I think it's good for the dads to take over for a day or two; puts things into perspective. Of course, my husband and I as of yet have no children yet (we're in the process of adopting from China) but I did grow up with my mother doing in-home daycare, so I was always helping her change diapers, warm up bottles, break up fights, from the time I was 7 until I moved out at 20. So I do know what it's like to deal with infants/toddlers/children on a daily basis. Of course, having been immersed in that environment for as long as I was, it's more likely the reason after 9.3 years of marriage my husband and I are just now thinking about children. Makes you treasure silence, don't it?
 
"I'm completely spent for the rest of the week. Now I know what it feels like to be every paycheck I earned in my 20s."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
Consider yourself "hugged".

How do we single parents do it? I haven't a clue. I don't have enough brain cells left to figure it out. They have all been sucked out by the brain cell vacuum, aka: My Son, along with any shred of dignity I once had.

Any brain cell loss has been relaced by various tics and repetitive profane outbursts.(I totally understand why my son thinks his name is Jesus Christ).

Thanks for the praise though. We all do what we gotta do to get by and just hope there isn't permanent psychological damage.

I hope HLS feels better soon.
 
I don't know how my mom did it, either. I find taking care of my elderly dog to be time consuming enough. I'm not sure if I would make a good parent.
 
>>Single parents, how DO you do it?

How can we not do it?

You don't think about it. You just do it.

I know that's not horribly helpful, but it's the truth.

Also a weird truth, the more you do, the more you can handle.

When you're single, there's no white knight to swoop in and save you. *YOU* are the white knight, at least to your child.

When you're wife is feeling better, get a sitter and take her out for a nice relaxing dinner and tell her thank you. *g*
 
Hey MM, glad you survived the weekend. Sounds like you did a great job even if you're exhausted now. Hope HLS is feeling better soon. I had strep once and it was no fun but a shot of penicillin took care of it very quickly.
 
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How do we single mums cope? Easily answered...we don't. We just pretend that we do. I have raised three children on my own. Two girls and a boy. In the early years I alternated between trying to play football with my son and hockey with my daughters. On top of that I had to race between girl guide camp and scouts camp because of course they were always held on the same day. Dib Dab Dob and all that. Parents were expected to join in and contribute to the general fun of things. If I wasn't baking cakes for one event then I was frantically knitting for another...Then of course there were the various animals that each child insisted they absolutley loved. The great love lasted until the first smelly "accident" which needed cleaning up. At one point I had a strange water lizard like creature called an axelot living in my bathtub, guinea pigs in the shed, hamsters living wherever they could escape to, three cats and four dogs. Oh and did I mention that I also worked numerous jobs one of which was a Sunday job clearing our the rubble from new build houses after the workmen had left! I still found time to play and teach the children who have all grown up well educated and have solid careers, a teacher, a computer manager and a boarding kennel assistant. They all have fond memories of the fun they all had at home. So have I sympathy for you, coping on your own whilst the missus is sick...You bet I do.
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