Friday, July 07, 2006


Fetching Blaze, Prelude...

Where to begin?

I guess we'll start in the present and work our way back.

Woke up on the sofa after a few hours sleep. The eye patch was itching something fierce so I took it off. Wasn't like I really needed it--no blood gouting from the socket or anything--it's just that I took a good smack on the eyeball and the eye was blurry and extremely sensitive to light. I found it easier to drive if I just patched it shut.

Blaze was lying on me like a big, heavy, hairy, smelly comforter. He's still a little skittish and hasn't left my side in two days. Also he'd been favoring one side where he'd been kicked in the ribs and he seemed to be limping a little. He looked at me and wagged his tail with a little more vigor than I'd seen in previous days, though. Before I left, I had optimistically put together a kind of doggy first-aid kit, which included the equipment to inject subcutaneous fluids (his girlfriends at the animal hospital advised me of the most likely things I'd need to revive a dog in distress). Obviously they were working. But after our mad dash through the darkness back to my car, he'd been weak as a kitten. I had to carry him into the house when we got home.

I stroked his dirty old head as we lay there in the early light. Then he heard a sound that made him perk up his ears.


For some reason, the Brownie has taken to announcing every trip to the bathroom, including those that take place first thing in the morning. I have no idea why, but it doesn't matter. In a flash, Blaze bounded off me and bolted for the stairs, yipping as he went.

"You better be yipping because your ribs hurt, you big faker!" I called raspily after him.

As you can imagine, the screaming and barking that ensued blew the roof off the Magazine Mansion. I captured a quieter moment.


The Brownie was so excited to see Blaze, she forgot about the bathroom--and so did Blaze, because someone tinkled a little on the floor. I'm not entirely sure who it was.

Thomas was out of his loft bed in one bound and I had to restrain him from strangling Blaze with his hugs (although strangely Blaze seemed to be feeling no pain). My son looked up briefly at my bandaged, puffy, bruised self.

"Oh, hi Dad," he said, then went back to making a fuss over his dog. Even Her Lovely Self seemed pleased to him (except for the peeing part).

So it was Christmas in July as Blaze detached himself from me and began following the kids around all day. He's still pretty sore. Here you can sorta see that he's holding that one paw at an odd angle and he's pushing himself off against the beanbag to keep his weight off his ribs. I don't know why he doesn't lay on the other side. Maybe he's trying to keep that side away from the kids so they don't thump him in the ribs.


Whatever ails him, being reunited with the kiddos has clearly been a tonic to him.

And to them.


"How'd you get him back, Dad?" Thomas asked.

I smiled, although it really hurt my lip to do it.

"There's a loaded question," I said. "I could practically write a book about--"

My mouth snapped shut with an audible click. A book? I thought. Now there's an idea...


Write a book, write a book, write a book! (But you better tell your loyal blog readers about it first before you expand your kingdom of fans even more!!)
I am a new visitor to your blog, and I want you to know how much I admire your actions to rescue your dog. How anyone can purposely harm an animal is beyond me, and their horrific behavior is beneath contempt. I am so happy Blaze is home, and I look forward to reading more of your writing
A book? YES. And a big-teary-eyed Disney movie to follow, I pray.

I've been fighting a miserable cold these past three days, but reading and re-reading this post and the previous has made me smile and feel wonderful all over.

I reiterate from my comment on the previous post: You are a hero. An amazing damn hero.
better not keep us hanging until your book is published, I have no patience for that sort of waiting. I've been checking your blog every hour as is.

Really glad to hear everyone is healing...
Yes, please, a book! But, as others said, please don't make us wait for the entire publishing process to tell us this story. I'll commit today to buying one (or more)! And then, will you sign it? I've never really cared a lot about signed copies of books unless I've actually met the author, but in this case... well, suldog's right, you're a hero, man!
You dirty dog!!! Tell us the rest of the story. It's the least you can do!
Only problem with writing a book is that we'd all want to buy it...and then your true identity would be revealed. Unless of course you chose to write it under a pseudonym...

You ARE a hero, and I can't wait to hear the tale..
Is it too early to put in a preorder for said book?

One of the best things about dogs is that almost nothing can stop them from expressing their boundless joy and love for their family. Not injury, nor illness, nor complete fatigue. You have to be braindead not to appreciate that kind of dedication!
ohhh, a book....If you did write it, I can guarentee I would buy many copies for presnets for people. And I have a lot of animal lover friends! :)

But I think that if you keep all your blog buddies in suspense to wait for BOOK, you better have a partial dedication to all of us! hehe

So glad Blaze is feeling better today! :) Hope your aren't in too much pain either!
Yes, I too will preorder a copy if you promise to not make me wait for the book in order to hear the story.

Glad to see that Blazie is home, and that you're all (in the long term) OK.
suldog's got it right. Write your book then sell it for gobs o'moola to Disney so they can make a sappy movie about it.
Seeing Blaze with the kids has gotten me all teary eyed. I've been checking back every few hours...even getting up in the middle of the see if you've posted yet! Please don't make us wait too long. :)
I am conflicted. Part of me so wants to have you write a book. Not just so that I can read your writing in bed, rather than at the computer at my desk, but so that you have the opportunity to reap the rewards of a massive fanbase, which you would instantly achieve and so richly deserve. "Hello, Columbia University, I've got a Pulitzer entrant for your consideration."

On the other hand, I want to know the damn story now! I know, I'm being selfish, but I wanna know!!

Yeah, I thought about it, better to save it and write a book. "Hello, Oprah, have I got a book for you!"
holy god, you're going to make me wait for a book??? do you KNOW how long that takes?!? oh wait. you do know. gack! i'll buy it, i swear! i know the ending, just tell me the middle bits!
so, is it done?
how 'bout now? now? now?
Indeed. As Stu has often opined, you deserve mad money for the stuff you write.
They all three look so happy! I hope that both you and Blaze are on the mend very soon.

I think a book would be dandy, but I think I'm in agreement with everyone else...tell us first!
I'd buy the book.

I would recommend against calling it Marley & Me, though.

I'm still just ecstatic that this all worked out for the best.
I like that you started in the present. Knowing that everything has turned out OK will make the horrifying parts of what transpired almost tolerable.

Blaze isn't the only one that piddled with joy, I'm sure that small indiscretion was overlooked. Dogs can't cry, after all.

I'm on the book bandwagon, and the Disney movie too. The book being your viewpoint and the movie being Blazes, a la Homeward Bound style. What actors voice do you think would be best as Blaze? I'm thinking Nick Cage or Travolta.
Count me in as a new reader who would definitely buy your book. Wow!
You can write a book all you want, but you best email my ass and tell me what happened because I'm about to implode here!

By the way, I'm glad you are home safe and sound - both of you. Take care.
Write your book and I'll buy it. I think you and Blazey Boy could use a little compensation for your ordeal and out of pocket expenses. Just knowing you two are home safe and sound will curb the greed that is in my eyes to read the whole story right NOW. I'm patient, I will wait- tick, tick, tick...

Honestly, I am just happy to know you two are home- still sending the pixie dust * * * * * * * * >
Ok, that's a thread starter right there: Who to voice Blaze in the major motion picture? I have several ideas, including: Jeremy Irons, Samuel L. Jackson, Neil Young, Tom Hanks, Stanley Tucci, or Seth MacFarlane.
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Book! Book! Book!

Send it along! Ghost name, or nom d'plume (or however you write types spell it, us engineers don't know spelling).

So happy that the happiness keep flowing. Would you look at the love in the eyes of that dog? And the kids?
Can I brag a little that I was the one who commented on your last post that you should write a book about this?! lol

That pic of Blaze & the Brownie brought me to tears, and made me think of a good title for your story (even though I don't know you).

"They Called Me a Hero"

and you are, MM
I saw the pictures first today and skimmed like mad to be sure they meant what I hoped they did. Welcome back, MM. I'm glad you and Blaze both made it home.
A book? A book would mean no cliffhangers -- I could just turn to the next chapter and not have to wait.

I wonder what that would be like....
Amazing story, MM. Please write a book.
LOL, Dan. Don't take this the wrong way, but: you're an asshat.


MM, I'm looking forward to reading this story, whether it's a blog post tomorrow or a book next year. For now I am just content knowing that you and Blaze are safe and will heal.
I'm so glad you're back (and alive!) and that Blaze is okay as well. Everyone looks so happy. :) Take your time on the events: don't want you to be typing in pain.

But don't wait more than a week. XP

And YES! I would want a book! A signed copy! :)
ooOOoo - Stu, you nailed it. Blaze has definitely got the personality of that Sam Jackson tude: thinking, Long Kiss Goodnight.
A signed copy! How cool would that be? Excellent idea from flip!

Autographed " to my biggest fan, love Magazine Man." That'd pretty much cover all of us. :)

Best luck on healing quickly. I think you've got lots of positive vibes, prayers, and pixie dust still winging their way toward you that you and Blaze should be back to 100% in no time.
Oh, you are a tease!!! I want to know all the details!! What happened????
MM, while I agree a book would be really cool...please end the suspense and let us know the bare bones of what happened! I'll buy TWO books even if I know the plot details, I promise.

Hope you and Blaze are both on the way to a speedy recovery.
I massaged a bit of dialogue as a way of responding to Sharfa's thoughts on Sam Jackson as Blaze.

Jules as Blaze
These last couple of posts make me wonder how good the world would be if we all had a friend like the Magazine Man.

Bravo. And, I'll even wait for the book to hear the story.

(and yes, I did cry a little when I read both of the last two posts...I don't mind telling you that.)
It's okay Kef, we can be manly and still cry.

And MM, should the rat $(#*^&% who did this to Blaze need some follow-up work, just keep in mind I'm half-Puerto Rican and half-Iranian. Part of me wants to stab him, the rest of me wants to declare jihad.

Did I mention I have friends of both ethnicities? Friends who love dogs?
Blaze looks extremely relieved to be back with the kids... and he is quite a handsome fellow, isn't he? part beagle? I'm guessing a beagle/ shepherd mix?
Well if anyone had a built-in audience for self-publishing, it would be you!

Though to be honest, I think you could write a book about, say, cleaning the carpet, and it would be a best-seller.

Go forth and publish! You da man.
I just discovered your blog today ~ well quite a few hours ago. Your writing simply moves me from great laughter to tears.
I am so glad Blaze is home ~ best wishes to both of you for a speedy recovery.
Laura, if you haven't already, go through the archives, from beginning to end. There's not a clinker in the bunch.

As for MM's book comment, is this the setup for a reveal that he's already got book in the works, or that he got an offer? Or is this just a setup for a post where he considers writing a book?

As an aside, my wife does not care for David Sedaris, but instead finds MagMan to be geniusly funny. I like Sedaris a lot, but I think The Mag is way more valuable and emotionally nourishing.
Holy Crap! What an amazing story. I only just found your blog but have tracked back and have a fair idea of what happened (except I haven't found how you knew who took Blaze). I have two dogs that both came from shelters so I know how they can grab you, but I honestly can't say that I would have gone to your lengths to get them back.
Stu- it's probably setup for "Ha ha, made you all sweat at the thought of a drastic year-long ellipsis cliffhanger! Now here's what happened..."
geez... that's incredible! i reckon there's a movie and a book in there dude! i'm so glad you found him- he's one incredibly lucky dog!
geez... that's incredible! i reckon there's a movie and a book in there dude! i'm so glad you found him- he's one incredibly lucky dog!
Dude, you don't know me from a can of paint but after I read about you on CMHL I had to read the story with my own eyes. As a parent, dog owner and family blogger it made me so happy to know that there are still people out there that will go the extra mile to do the right thing. My faith in humanity is restored! {{{{{Hugs to you and Blaze!}}}}}
Holy crap! I go away for a week and all hell breaks loose! Although, I am grateful that at least I got to find out quickly that Blaze is home where he belongs instead of sweating it out for days like everyone else. My heart stopped a few times, but the pictures of Blaze and the kids made it fill with relief and happiness. So glad that he's home and that you aren't in a full body cast rendering you unable to tell the rest of the story. You are going to tell it soon, aren't you??? Anyway, here's hoping all injuries heal quickly, and the bastard who did this gets the eternal damnation he so justly deserves.
Oh my goodness, the tears are still pouring down my face. I'm so happy you have Blazey back, but you HAVE to tell the story. There's no way I can wait for the book!

And about the guy who did this, I'm sure you have taken some precautions against his inevitable return?? What causes people to abuse animals like that, I will never never never understand (and normally I'm pretty empathetic).
YOU BETTER NOT BE TEASING! I've been waiting for word of you writing a book for over a year now. To tempt us like that if you
are not serious is cruel. :-) But your loyal blog readers should be able to know of it first...and get autographed copies!!!
So glad Blazey is back and can't wait to hear more.
I want one of the first ones to roll of the presses and it better be signed! I want to be able to say I knew him when! I'll add it to my small collection of signed works(OK so the only one I have now is Wil Wheaton's but hey it is signed!)
Will it be something like Harry Porter? but instead of a boy you have an eager to please Father of 2 whom is married to a beautiful wife and a wonder dog?
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