Tuesday, May 02, 2006


In Which I Achieve A Moment of Perfection...

My Mom taught me many things when I was growing up. She sort of had to. She was my mother.

But she was also something of a de facto single parent, what with my dad working away from home most of my childhood (and when he was around, he was drunk, which was like being away anyhow).

So it was from my mother that I learned how to change a tire on a car (and later, when I turned 6, how to change the oil too). She taught me how to fix a broken furnace, how to use a plumber's snake, how to thaw a frozen water pipe with a hair dryer and a Halogen lamp, how to pick a lock with a sewing needle, how to politely slam doors--and phone receivers--in the faces of solicitors, and, oh, just a thousand other things that come up in daily life.

But of everything I learned at her knee, two lessons have served me longest and best: telling a story as well as I can, and minding my manners. I spend most of my time here trying to do the former, but today we'll focus on the latter. To be sure, spinning a good yarn has helped make me a decent living, but remembering when to say "please" and "thank you" has helped make me a decent man.

And so it is with a full heart that I offer a humble thanks to some folks, first and foremost to BlogHer Contributing Editor, Mir, who saw fit to share my increasingly infamous ass-strep post with the BlogHer community (and a big welcome to all of you who found your way here from there).

That recognition alone was nice enough, but the cherry on the cake of it was that another Contributing Editor, Karen Rani, decided to, er, tap my ass-strep story with a Perfect Post Award for April (for more details about the PPA, I refer you to its creators, Lucinda at Suburban Turmoil and MommaK, Queen of Petroville).

I am so tickled by this notice, I don't even mind that it was for one of my more revolting posts. Because--hard as it may be to believe, I know--"perfect" is not a word that is usually associated with me. At all. In any aspect of my life. Even my own mother, despite everything she taught me, and as much as I know she loves me, has only ever uttered the words "He's perfect!" once in my presence.

And she was looking at my newborn son for the first time when she said it.

So once again, thank you all.

Who said April was the cruelest month?

From Somewhere on the Masthead

Yeah, all those things, tires, frozen pipes. All I ever learnt was how to stand there and watch someone repair them...
No matter how many find their way here, just remember it was us who loved you best, and first! Thanks for all the great stories, MM.
So it was from my mother that I learned how to change a tire on a car (and later, when I turned 6, how to change the oil too).

Woo, start 'em young!

I'm afraid I was mostly useless late into my teen years. Around that time I started realizing that I was something of a princess, so I started trying to get my hands dirty more often.

Apparently friends from that time still think of me as a princess, though, because an old acquaintance was recently shocked to hear that I had changed out some fuses in my car.

I mean, come on. Fuses.

I guess I must have been pretty bad back then :>

Congratulations on the honor :) It's my opinion that you haven't racked up zillions of blog awards simply because the people in charge of awards aren't aware of you yet. That will change!
I've always thought you were perfect MM. Then again, I don't live with you, and, I get to enjoy the view from outside. Your life is perfect for this blog. This blog is perfectly entertaining, and it's always a perfect way to spend time with my morning coffee.

It doesn't get much more perfect than that......hmmmmmmm.... I see a T-shirt. A backside view of Blaze spinning wildly, with huge letters "ASS-STREP!!!"..and on the back........"Just perfect".
Did you really know how to change oil and tires when you were six??? I couldn't pump my own gas till I got my license. That sounds so much more shameful when I write it down.
Congrats on your award, but seriously, I'm surprised it took this long for someone to give you an award. You are, by far, my idea of a perfect blogger. I can't think of anyone else I would rather read (there is no one neither as hilarious or as heartfelt) and I thank you for letting us all into your world, wacky and wonderful as it is.
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see, now you have something tangible to carve on your tombstone--- "I perfectly described my entire family having ass-strep"... it is your moment of greatness! enjoy!

personally, my favorites are the ones involving your father and Gorry.
Heck, if I'd known how happy it was going to make you, I would've featured you sooner. ;)

I'm very pleased to have made your acquaintance... you, AND your ass-strep.
=) Again, I've got nothing to say except that I love your blog. Thought I'd say it anyway. Thanks for sharing! Even if it's something like.. ass strep.
I liked that post so much, I instantly blogrolled you. And I can't tell you how long it's been since I've done that. So hi. Nice to meet you. Congrats again. And I'll be back. Lots.
I come here everyday and I read you non stop. And every once in a while, its the simple things that you talk about that sings to my soul better than all your jokes and good humour.

You make me miss my mom.

Thank you.
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