Sunday, July 23, 2006


In Which the Knuckle Dragger Surrenders Control to Someone More Adroit...

Yes well, as the human returns to his own vomit, so I find myself once more taking to the keyboard. But I stand before you a changed dog. I won't belabor the details. His Verbose Self, a 100 percent purebred Glory Hound if ever there was one, has regaled you with his exploits. And if the truth must be told, I don't have it within me to denigrate him (though he so often invites abuse and it would be rude not to accept the invitation).

You hear every so often about pets traversing great distances to be reunited with their families, but it's not often that you hear the reverse happening. I fear that this time I owe the Man a debt I can never fully repay. For once, he listened to the Girl (she sensed that I was alive, if not well. Of this more at another time) and cast aside his bananas long enough to find me. There are not words--in his tongue or mine--to express my gratitude.

Not to him, of course. But to you. For your well wishes, but also for your great good deed, which arrived in the form of this touching email:

Dear Magazine Man,

In honor of your astonishingly heroic rescue of Blaze, we, your readers, have contributed a donation to the ASPCA. We sincerely believe that your tale is a lesson for all... for all time. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for your astonishing effort and angelic inspiration.


Chuck Mann (whose idea this was in the first place)
Stu Mark
James Cooper
Le Chimaera
Peter DeWolf
Shadow Twin
Geek's Girl (and family including the furry, four-legged member)
Marilyn Howton
Cissa Fireheart

The Man has linked you to your respective blogs where he knows for pretty-near certain who you are. If he got it wrong and your blog is not listed here--for example, cyber Lothario that he is, The Man apparently has had electronic congress with at least two Tamaras, and a host of Merediths and Marilyns--please, please, oh for the love of Dog please cease his anxious bleating about linking to the wrong person or snubbing anyone by accident: Email your link and you will be added to the list.

And if you did not want your name listed, I apologize in advance. I also blame The Man, and suggest you direct your emails of ire to him that he might preserve your anonymity. Just understand that he knows you did not do this for recognition, but he would be a cur of the lowest breeding indeed if he did not celebrate your love and kindness in some way, howsoever small it might be.

For my part, even if I were not a dog, I would be speechless. This generous gesture on our behalf is nothing short of an Absolute Good and it makes me want to roll on the floor and expose my belly to you all.

But if you did not partake in this fine gesture, do not feel bad. Your thoughts and prayers these past few weeks did a great deal to buoy us, not to mention light a fire under the tail of The Man.

I will not soon forget it. Neither will he.

Henceforth, you are--all of you--members of the pack.

That is all.

Except to thank one more fellow--Sir James of Blogwick, whose artful banner was a true inspiration and, with his kind permission, will now have a permanent place here, over to your right, where it shall henceforth denote the most exciting area of this blog. Which would be the collected stories featuring,

Your Humble Servant,

Blazey BHBBBD (nee Blaise)

Is it bad that I'm rapidly developing a blog crush on Blaze?

What a wonderful thing to do
Hi Blazey, me too, me too! Imagine my shock when I clicked on the Tamara link and it went to another blog??? And I thought I was the only Tamara in MM's life. Well, the more Tamaras the merrier!!

I was so pleased to hear of your safe return my furry friend, and I was delighted to hear that there was a collection going around in your honour. I wish I could adopt a puppy like you but in the meantime it was a heartwarming thought that perhaps a little donation could join others and make a bigger donation, and help others like you.

I was praying for you and your family, and find it really wonderful that sometimes seemingly against all odds...prayers are answered.

A BIG hug to you and your family.

Tamara/Straight Poop
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hi Blaze.

It seems odd to be addressing a comment to a dog, but nevertheless, I like odd, so here goes.

I don't know if the Fiona in your list is actually me or not, but if it is, then if you click on my name, it should take you to my blog.

It's full of alot of nonsense, so don't go there if you're expecting some intellectual prose. It's not that kind of a blog! LOL

Meanwhile, Blaze, I hope that you are recovering well from your trauma and enjoying yourself back home with your proper family.

Take care.

...Fiona. (aka FJ)
Oh, Blaze! I think of you now when hugging my neighbors labrador, so I hope you feel the love. She's a very fetching yellow lab if you're looking for a girlfriend...

coming from a family that always had rescue dogs, I know just how special you are. Take good care of that family of yours!! You all deserve each other very much.
Hey Blaze and family. It was a tremendous pleasure to get together with all those other dedicated readers and put a little something forward to help out animals in need as well as those who help them. Your story with The Man was an inspiration -- but don't go doing quite that same thing again! :-)
Blaise is fitting indeed. Although sainthood may still be a stretch for you, MM seems to have pulled off miracle one- returning you safely home. My family and I counted it a priviledge to honor you.
Blaze! I have missed your posts. =) You inspire me all the time, and I hope that I'll have a dog as wonderful and brace as you one day.
Er.. brave. :D
Blaze! So glad to hear from you again! We are so glad you are back home safe and sound. The Man had us all worried about you.
I didn't know about the group donation (have been out of town all week) but what a wonderful thing for them to do!!
My family and I donate regularly to our local animal rescue chapter and while this may not affect you directly Sir Blaze, we hope it pleases you to know that all over, animals who are lost or homeless have a safe place to go! Hope to hear more from you and The Man real soon.

It was a privaledge to donate to the ASPCA in your honor. I am so glad you are home safe with your family. I am an animal lover, and was moved deeply by your and MM's story. Take care of yourself and your family. I am honored and humbled to be considered a member of your pack..~Cissa Fireheart

I looked up your name. Did you know Merlin's tutor was named Blaise, and that Blaise means "stammerer?"

If a dog stammers, would you be able to tell?

little gator

woof woof rooooooo bark arf yap woof woof


As Hermione said in Goblet of Fire, "Boys!"

We're all just happy to have you back safe and sound, The Man included.

I hope we get to hear more about The Girl's premonition/"knowledge". It sounds like there's a story there.
Blaze, it sure is good to hear from you again.
it does seem odd to address a canine in a blog, but i suppose it's odd to be so attached to a critter i've never personally met either. *shrug*

at any rate, welcome back blaze! and i'll say 'you're welcome' but really, i didn't plan or execute the idea. so thank you, chuck and stu, for doing this, and for thinking of me. :-)
Thanks for the post Blaze!

After my sister and boyfriend saw that you had linked to my blog, they said that I should update so that all of the new traffic would have something new to read. I was just about to do that, but now I see that the link has been changed. I guess I'll have to fight thestraightpoop for my shot at fame :)

I am just glad that all is well, and that your readers were able to contribute in some small way to your safety, and that of other ASPCA animals.
I'm a bit jealous that I've never had such an eloquent animal.
Blaze, thank God you're back and healing up nicely. You've got a great family...may you never be separated from them again.

Mag Man, I found the first Blaze link off of Shane's blog (been catching up on my way too far behind blogreading), and was stunned. I read each one straight thru, each one increasing the "something in my eye" phenomenon. Glad I'm sitting here along reading these...I'd hate to have to explain myself to Dear and Patient GF among others.

You said at one point that because you went after ass-tard while he was down, you were not a "good guy". Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Your dog, a member of your family was taken from you. You attempted to actually be much more of a gentleman than the situation warranted and BUY your dog back. And you were attacked, viciously. Then, you came back and Satan's Spawn tried to attack you while your back was turned. No, my newfound heroic friend, you are not, "not a good guy". At that point all bets were off and you were fully entitled to do whatever you needed to do to flat out kill the sonofabitch. People may look down on me for saying this, but I can honestly say that when he was down I WOULD have clubbed the living shit out of him. I'm generally a nice, easygoing beach bum here in San Diego, but if ever a situation warranted the "nuclear response", that was it. But you didn't do any of that. MY DOG!! It may not have been a physical hit, but it sure as hell did some damage. And by not beating him senseless when you had a golden opportunity, you showed that you truly are a good guy and a hero. Bravo. May your wounds heal, may your family's love surround you, and may you find comfort in the knowledge that you truly are a good guy.
You won! Go get your award!
Blaze, it is an honour and a privilege to be a part of your pack.

Thank you.
Wh00t!!1! You won! If I weren't so morally uptight, I'd invent an award just so that folks here could stuff the ballot box for you to win "Best Writer Ever"... Gee, I hope I didn't just give someone else an idea. ;-) Way to go, Mr. Man, you deserve laurels and gobs of cash.
I'm so honored to be able to contribute to the ASPCA donation. We missed you Blaze and so glad you're back home!
Oh Blazey, I bet it's good to be home! I'm so glad you're safe! But one thing—where did you learn to type?
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